THERE ONCE WAS A WITCH WITH A DOG 
AND SHE TOOK HIM ALONG ON A JOG.
HE TANGLED HER FEET 
SHE GOT RED AS A BEET 
SO SHE TURNED HIM INTO A FROG!

THERE WAS AN OLD MAN FROM KILLARNEY,
WHOSE LANGUAGE WAS ALWAYS SO SMARMY
HE CLEANED UP HIS WORDS, 
MADE THEM SWEET AS THE BIRDS, 
BUT I'D SAY HE WAS STILL FULL OF BLARNEY!

ON THE TOUR, DRIVING THROUGH THE HILLS OF SCOTLAND HE WAS TELLING US
STORIES OF HOW THE VIKINGS WOULD COME OVER TO SCOTLAND AND RAID THE
VILLAGES, AND PLUNDER AND LOOT AND WAGE VICIOUS BATTLES, AND SOMETIMES THE BOTH SIDES WOULD DISROBE SO YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHO WAS THE ENEMY AND WHO WAS NOT. HE TENDERED THE QUESTION TO THE GROUP, 'WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD 10,000 NAKED MEN RUNNING AT YOU?" THERE WAS SILENCE, THEN I SHOUTED, "SURRENDER!!!!" 
AND THE BUS WAS HYSTERICAL. THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

THERE WAS A TOUR LEADER NAMED PAUL
WHOM WE THOUGHT HAD THE GREATEST OF GALL.
HIS POEMS WERE ATROCIOUS,
THAT HE TOLD ON THE COACHES,
AND HIS JOKES WERE THE WORST OF THEM ALL!

MALCOM IS THE DRIVER OF COACHES,
AND WHENEVER A CAR WOULD APPROACH US, 
HE'D SWERVE TO THE RIGHT,
GIVE THE BLIGHTER A FRIGHT,
I'D SAY THAT HIS DRIVINGS FEROCIOUS!

© Marie Lancaster

Page by: William J. Moore

Bill Moore's Writing